July 29, 2004

Theory #94

You are what you read.

July 19, 2004

Theory #93

Whenever life closes a door, it opens a window. Unfortunately, you can't jump out the window.

July 15, 2004

Theory #92

When a story lacks humor, tell a filthy lie instead. Someone is bound to laugh:
 
***FILTHY LIE ALERT***
 
David D'Or is a eunuch. That explains his high-pitched voice.

July 13, 2004

Theory #91

Having money doesn't buy happiness, but it's the nicest way to be unhappy.

July 12, 2004

Theory #90

Consciousness. What's so good about it?

July 08, 2004

Theory #89

HELP WANTED is a lie. What they really mean is PAID SLAVE LABOR.

July 07, 2004

Theory #88

Earth first!
We'll screw up other planets later.

— A bumper sticker.

July 04, 2004

Theory #87

"A man's got to know his limitations."

-- Clint Eastwood