May 31, 2004

Theory #81

The reason the news never makes sense is because, perhaps, we really are surrounded by idiots, and the intelligent people are outnumbered. That would also explain why voices of reason are so damn hard to come by.

May 29, 2004

Theory #80

Ideas are for the weak! REAL thinkers have theories.

May 26, 2004

Theory #79

Voting is that thing where you punch holes in a piece of paper, somebody reads it as a vote for a different candidate, and your voice is never heard because you couldn't punch the whole way through the card anyway.

May 24, 2004

Theory #78

If you're careful about which context you choose for the use of derogatory terms, chances are it will go unnoticed, but slip up once, and you're branded a bigot for life.

May 23, 2004

Theory #77

Intelligent people are victims of their own intelligence. No matter where they go, the majority of people are dumber than them, so they feel surrounded by idiots. No, that doesn't just happen to me. That's what separates a rant from a theory.

May 22, 2004

Theory #76

Every time you think you're a nutter, you will find someone more deranged than you.

May 21, 2004

Theory #75

Do you know where your blog is? I think I misplaced mine. Then again, it could've been car keys that I was trying to find.

May 20, 2004

Theory #74

Google is God for the internet. It sees all, knows all, remembers all...etc. The only way to keep it away from your site is to deny it with specific code. Otherwise, it remains open to the possibility that you will embrace it.

May 19, 2004

Theory #73

Nobody can fight the giant squid. They'll just keep sending us deadly cicadas.

May 18, 2004

Theory #72

When the censoring gets tough, the tough get censored, right? Wrong. I always win my battles.

May 16, 2004

Theory #71

Writing on a blog, which is good, beats cleaning a room, which is bad. I had to do both. Therefore, I've had a mediocre day, right?

May 14, 2004

Theory #70

Fishing, as in every activity, is fun until you realize how much work it takes to prepare for it and clean up. However, the experience is what everyone loves and remembers.

May 11, 2004

Theory #69

[Insert oral sex joke here.]

hehehe..."insert..." hehehe... 8-)

May 10, 2004

Theory #68

Perfection is not human. Every time you think you've got things right, you discover that you've got things completely wrong.

May 09, 2004

Theory #67

Hypocrisy: me stating that I need to study for a Physics final tomorrow but remaining here to type this post.

May 08, 2004

Theory #66

Sleep does not make you smarter. It just gives you less time to study.

May 01, 2004

Theory #65

Insomnia is not a disease, but a gift that allows one to party longer.