August 01, 2006

Theory #155

Humility: The ability to grab someone's attention with content.

November 05, 2005

Theory #154

Holding back from someone you can trust gives you all the ammunition you need to destroy yourself. It is in total honesty with others that we find healing.

November 04, 2005

Theory #153

Mind-reading is not possible because its existence would erode trust and undo civilization as we know it.

October 22, 2005

Theory #152

The more time spent with people, the less stressful the social life becomes.

August 18, 2005

Theory #151

PMS is not to be reckoned with at any cost.

August 03, 2005

Theory #150

Trust is the invisible bond that holds all of human interaction together. Without it, we are all alone and dysfunctional.

Theory #149

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

August 02, 2005

Theory #148

A vision without action is a daydream.

- Japanese Proverb.

July 26, 2005

Theory #147

With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another.

- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

July 21, 2005

Theory #146

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

- George Bernard Shaw

July 20, 2005

Theory #145

Attitude is everything. How else can you explain how I finished a stressful day at work with a smile on my face?

July 05, 2005

Theory #144

Illegal fireworks kick ass...

(Special thanks to my neighbors for the free shows.)

Update: ...unless pieces of the fireworks land on your roof.

June 28, 2005

Theory #143

Trying really hard not to think about something makes that something the only thing on your mind.

June 22, 2005

Theory #142

Who knew that one could come up with more than 20 metaphors for masturbation relating to a hedge trimmer?

June 01, 2005

Theory# 141

Pain is caused by pleasure.

Now you know why your right hand hurts.

Theory #140

Telling a man that a prank he pulled wasn't very funny will only make him laugh harder.

May 06, 2005

Theory #139

If time travel is possible, we'll know about it beforehand.

May 01, 2005

Theory #138

Time is NOT on your side.

The Rolling Stones only said that because the National Association of Chronic Procrastinators promised a lucrative sponsorship deal, which is still in the works to this very day. The NACP keeps putting off negotiations for a later date.

April 16, 2005

Theory #137

A revolutionary is one who believes that radical ideas are normal.

April 05, 2005

Theory #136

One can resist everything except temptation.