Theory #155

Humility: The ability to grab someone's attention with content.

Theory #154

Holding back from someone you can trust gives you all the ammunition you need to destroy yourself. It is in total honesty with others that we find healing.

Theory #153

Mind-reading is not possible because its existence would erode trust and undo civilization as we know it.

Theory #152

The more time spent with people, the less stressful the social life becomes.

Theory #151

PMS is not to be reckoned with at any cost.

Theory #150

Trust is the invisible bond that holds all of human interaction together. Without it, we are all alone and dysfunctional.

Theory #149

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Theory #148

A vision without action is a daydream.

- Japanese Proverb.

Theory #147

With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another.

- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Theory #146

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

- George Bernard Shaw

Theory #145

Attitude is everything. How else can you explain how I finished a stressful day at work with a smile on my face?

Theory #144

Illegal fireworks kick ass...

(Special thanks to my neighbors for the free shows.)

Update: ...unless pieces of the fireworks land on your roof.

Theory #143

Trying really hard not to think about something makes that something the only thing on your mind.

Theory #142

Who knew that one could come up with more than 20 metaphors for masturbation relating to a hedge trimmer?

Theory# 141

Pain is caused by pleasure.

Now you know why your right hand hurts.

Theory #140

Telling a man that a prank he pulled wasn't very funny will only make him laugh harder.

Theory #139

If time travel is possible, we'll know about it beforehand.

Theory #138

Time is NOT on your side.

The Rolling Stones only said that because the National Association of Chronic Procrastinators promised a lucrative sponsorship deal, which is still in the works to this very day. The NACP keeps putting off negotiations for a later date.

Theory #137

A revolutionary is one who believes that radical ideas are normal.

Theory #136

One can resist everything except temptation.